Heart centered sales and marketing generates strength by connecting

You need strength, courage and self-discipline to resist the temptations urging you to push for a close too soon. That’s why heart centered selling’s not for wimps.  The rewards, though, are strong bonds with customers.

Heart centered sales and marketing put your prospects’ and your customers’ needs before your own. It takes love for your customers, the kind of love that makes finding out about their needs more important than springing your products and services on them too soon. It’s the kind of love that asks questions, listens to the answers, probes with more questions until you develop real understanding.

It’s the kind of love that demonstrates caring.  Customers feel a connection. They come to know, like and trust you.  From this, you will gain sales, referrals, and friendships. Because they feel the sincerity of your concern, you are welcome and valued.

At the same time, heart centered, soft sell sales requires the strength to protect your efforts. Some people who are more comfortable with aggressive types of sales so they like fighting images here. As much of selling is a head trip, you can defeat yourself before you ever make a sales call if you focus on the negatives and the “I can’t” statements. For this reason, I work with an inner level as well as with outer activity.

There are several things you can do to protect your sales efforts without getting into your prospect’s space and interfering with their right to make a decision.

• Use visualizations to imagine their concerns and to shield your efforts from competitors’ attcks.
• Give prospects and customers freedom to make their own choices. Otherwise, they will feel crowded. Causing a prospect to sense you are a stalker getting in their space is one of the best ways I can think of for a salesperson to be his or her own worst enemy.
• The best technique is to use a heart centered sales and marketing approach. You’ll be different and so stand out because most people won’t take the time to get to really know and understand them. Three ways to show you care and love your customers are as follow:

• o    You need strength, courage and self-discipline to resist the temptations urging you to push for a close too soon. That’s why heart centered selling’s not for wimps, but the rewards are worth it.
• o    Paint a word picture of the benefits they will enjoy when they use your products and services. Help them see and feel the new, better condition of their lives after buying from you.

Heart centered selling’s not for wimps because it takes strength, courage and self-discipline put getting to know and understand your customers first. You also have to be prepared to protect your sales efforts while giving your prospects and customers their space. Three ways to do this are to use visualizations to imagine their interests and to mentally protect yourself from competitive attacks; give them space to make their own decisions; and use heart centered, soft sell sales techniques to focus everything on what they feel they need and want. When you help customers buy, you’ll find selling fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

MLM is most profitable to the individuals who develop their own organization charts.

First, let me say that I like MLM or multi-level marketing programs in general. Usually they sell really good products. Second, most are honorable and honest. However, some MLM lies show up when it comes to sponsoring and recruiting.

This week I was called by a woman I’d met at a seminar in March. She did a good job of refreshing my memory as to whom she is and how we met. She also got me engaged by asking questions about how the program I signed up for is going for me. Then she told me what’s going on in her world. That lead to her talking about a really incredible program for getting rich. She wanted to send me a CD that I can watch.

Three MLM Lies

Initially she was going to rely on the CD to explain the program benefits. I tried repeatedly to tell her that no matter how good it is, I’m not going to get into it right now. When I explained that I have to stay focused on my present business, she started on the three hard sell MLM lies I’ve heard from network marketers for years.

1. Everyone’s a prospect – this came up when I ask who her idea customers are.
2. It won’t take any extra time. It’s effortless. You just bring it up in a normal conversation. (In this case, I could do it in two hours a week.)
3. There’s nothing to learn. (In response to my comment that I don’t have the time.  I think it is based on the company providing videos and websites for your prospects.)

The funny thing is that as a new distributor or representative, you tend to believe this nonsense and spout it when you talk to other people. In my experience, the up-line distributor tells them that it won’t take any effort because it’s the easiest way to get your new people started. It’s not the most effective approach, though, to selling your products or services. Nevertheless, if enough newbies talk to all of their friends and families, a few will luck into someone who actually wants what they are selling. The rest of your people will get discouraged and quit so you just recruit someone new.

Everyone Isn’t a Prospect

Unless you’re selling water in the desert where there’s no public source of water, you need to understand your idea customer profile. It enables you to be efficient in your recruiting. You may still want to speak with everyone you know – but you will do it conversationally asking questions to see if there is a need or want that your program can help fill.

Hard sell salespeople focus primarily on their own needs so they can’t hear the repeat nos. While I agree that you don’t stop “selling” at the first no, until you find what your prospects want and need, you shouldn’t even be selling yet. You should be asking questions and listening.

Heart centered Multi-level Marketers Listen

If you are a heart centered, soft sell salesperson or marketer, you care about your prospects first, knowing that the sales will follow when you truly can help them get what they need to fix their problem or fulfill their desire. I have heart centered, soft sell friends in multi-level marketing who’ve approached me about their products. When I explained that I need to stay focused on my current business until it’s strong enough for me to add something else, they listen and wait until the time is right for me.

Multi-level marketing is a wonderful way to get started in your own part-time business. You can avoid getting suckered in by the MLM lies if you learn the basics about sales and marketing. You know from your own life, you’re not a prospect for every product on the market. So why did you get involved in this business? Start building an ideal customer profile as it will make it easier to find people who really will excel in business with you.

For more information on what an ideal customer profile is about check out my previous blog posts. One in particular I hope you will enjoy is “Focus Your Marketing on Your Ideal Customer.”

How to Avoid Feeling Stupid When Asking Questions

Among the many reasons I’ve discovered for not asking enough questions, is that people are afraid of looking stupid when asking questions. They figure that what the prospect just said is probably something they should know so they ignore it or try to bluff their way through it. The result of this approach is to fail to cover something that’s really important to your potential customer, try to fake it when making your presentation about how your products and services will take care of that issue – which you mention but didn’t really understand so your solution looks dumb, or you propose a fix to something that was really a surface issue and not important.

When you operate from a heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing viewpoint, it should make sense that you want to come across sincere and trustworthy. You do this largely by taking time to ask the questions for understanding. People forgive a lot of mistakes if they feel you really care about helping them. This presupposes, of course, that you actually have the in-depth product knowledge necessary to recognize the solution needed once you understand their concerns.

Two key points before you get into your sales call:

• Put your attention on really helping your prospects solve their needs or reach their dreams. The more you focus on the other person, the more you will be able to put the pressure of making sales in the background of your thoughts and so your fear and anxiety will largely disappear.
• Nobody knows everything – prepare the best you can, then have the humility to ask what isn’t clear to you.

Here are some tips to avoid looking stupid when asking questions:

1st – Ask when you don’t know

• Ask for clarification: “I’ve heard this term, but I’m not sure what it means in this context. Could you please tell me what it means to you?”
• Ask for background: “How are you handling this now? … What’s working? … What’s not working? … Why do you think that is?”
• Ask questions, listen to the answers then dig deeper.

2nd – Realize that some prospects too want to avoid looking stupid so they will use jargon in your industry to give the impression you can’t fool them because they’re in the know.

• First off, avoid making them look stupid by drawing attention to the fact that their statement is meaningless or wrong.
• Instead, ask them to explain, “I can understand how Super Thingamajigees might seem important. Would you help me appreciate more how you see them as important to your most important challenges right now?”

3rd – Avoid using jargon to sound like you’re in the group if you don’t fully understand the jargon – some terms mean different things in different groups
4th – Do research on the industry before the meeting so you understand the main terms they use and their interests.

Helping prospects and customers come to know, like and trust you is an ongoing process. Great salespeople realize when working with people, there is always more to learn. Nevertheless, the above points to put yourself in the right frame of mind and the other four points will help you to avoid looking stupid when asking questions. These tips will also make it easier for you to make a connection that leads to trust and long term relationships. Then you will find selling is fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

To get value out of this article, find three to five terms or expressions used in an industry you want to break into and get their definitions. Write a sentence for each then ask someone in that industry if you used the terms right.

To connect using social networking, make it personal

LinkedIn and Facebook as well as most other social networking sites have marvelous tools for inviting everyone in your different mailing lists to join you on their sites. If I know you personally, especially in the non-virtual or physical world of daily living, then you can get away with an impersonal automated request – and I will probably join you because you are my friend out here.

Even then, however, taking a moment to write a little bit extra about why you want me, or everyone else in your database, to join you on this latest social networking site would be nice. For example, “I find that LinkedIn is really popular with business people and has lots of useful forum or groups that I think you might find as useful as I do” would help me to understand it’s value to me.

To connect, make it personal

If, on the other hand, we’ve never met, then I would appreciate knowing why you want to be friends. What do we have in common? Are you a writer too, an Internet marketer, in sales and marketing, in my religion, appreciate SciFi/Fantasy or just reading, love to travel, enjoy photography, are a graduate of a school I attended, met at a seminar, or you like my restaurant reviews as the Anaheim Restaurant Examiner? The choices are numerous.

In my daily life, I’m not friends with everyone I meet. I’m friendly, yes. But I rarely take the time to develop close relationships. Social networking gives me the opportunity to actually get to know more people in bits and pieces. But if creating a new friendship isn’t important enough to jot a very short note as to why you would like to be friends on Facebook or connect on LinkedIn or any of the other social networking sites, then you don’t really want my friendship. You are just trying to attract numbers. That’s all right. It’s just not what I want in a friend or a connection.

Social networking done with integrity and authenticity is a powerful tool for heart-centered, soft sell salespeople and marketers because it enables you to reveal a human side to your personality. My heart-centered social networking tip is this: if you want to write to invite me or anyone else to be part of your community, make it personal. Jot a note. Write to me, or anyone else, like you really wanted to connect with me and not just make another notch on your gun belt or tick mark on your score card.

I would love to hear your comments on this. Please post a comment specific to this article so I know it’s not spam – or on Facebook, you can flag it thumbs up or thumbs down or mark it however your favorite bookmarking site allows. And if you want to connect, here are three of my links:

• http://www.facebook.com/johnaberle
• http://www.linkedin.com/in/JohnAberle
• http://twitter.com/JohnAberle – you don’t have to request to be a friend or for a connection on Twitter. Just follow.

This is the note card cover I made up with a sales tip message.

Thank you notes work following job interviews too

I had the pleasure of attending a networking group meeting last night for the Career Marketplace Search group that meets at the Lake Avenue Church in Pasadena California. When the guest speaker on Emotional Intelligence had to cancel because of illness, the group coordinators substituted a session on job search skills. I suggested that one technique that works really well for those who actually get the interview is to remember to send a handwritten thank you note. Sandy Edge, the program facilitator, reinforced my point by reminding the group that a couple members of the group had come back to report that they got their job offers because they were the only finalists to send thank you notes.

Use handwritten, personalized thank you notes to differentiate you

While this blog is about sales and marketing, remember that job-search candidates need to sell their perspective employers just as much as you do your prospects. A handwritten note will set you apart. Most people won’t make the effort.

Sending a hand written thank you note isn’t a miracle worker. But it does help you differentiate yourself. Just like in the horse race, you don’t need to be miles better than the second-place finisher. You just need to be marginally better so little things count.

In the day when technology often makes us feel isolated, a handwritten note helps make or reinforce the connection. This technique is ideally suited to heart-centered, soft sell salespeople. Few things tell your “prospectors” (prospects who are looking to buy a solution to their wants and needs) that you actually care about them.

Personalized thank you notes demonstrate your heart-centered concern for your customers

But to be effective, it needs to be personal, not just another form letter. Make reference to something specific, some connection that you had with them or, better yet, some idea that you suggested to help them. You can even bring up some idea you had to help them out after the meeting was over.

Like in all human relations, when connecting with clients or customer, it’s often little things that count the most. Taking the time and effort to job personal note says a lot about how much you actually care. This is a sales technique known by the best salespeople for decades. It only looks like a secret because so few people practice it. And while it is not unique to heart-centered, soft sell salespeople, it’s an activity that arises naturally out of your concern for your customers.

Whom can you send a thank you note to today? If you don’t have a prospect or customer you just spoke with, choose someone who has taught you something or done something to help you. Send a note now. I think you will enjoy the feeling that comes with sincere gratitude.

Intervention means my views are superior to yours

There’s a marketing struggle for survival going on amongst the traditional, generally hard sell marketers. They are finding it harder to grab people’s attention and offer something new and exciting. The latest hard sell ad is a television commercial in which a discount fashion store chain shows friends conducting an intervention to save another friend from over spending on the fashions she could get for less at Marshalls / TJ Maxx. This attitude shows disrespect for customers’ judgment.

Hard sell reveals I’m right; you’re wrong attitude

You may feel that I am making a big deal out of nothing; it’s simply advertising and a humorous effort at that. Obviously, I disagree. The Marshalls / TJ Maxx TV commercial shows an attitude that is prevalent in hard sell sales and marketing: I have the right to decide for you that you need to buy my product. Because I know better than you do, I can use guilt, pressure or other manipulations to control your actions.

Some people with spiritual training recognize this for what it is, black magic, the effort to control others to ones own ends. If you are a heart-centered, soft sell salesperson or marketer, you come from a vastly different point of view, one based on respect and connecting with your potential customers and their needs and wants. Heart-centered, soft sell salespeople and marketers strive to listen first and sell later.

Heart-centered approach respects buyers and their views

Because heart-centered, soft sell salespeople listen first and ask questions plus do the background work to understand your “prospectors” (potential customers looking for solutions or desired results), you can customize your products and services with their involvement. This customization may be more in your explanation or it may include bundling other products or services. Regardless, by working with your buyer there is a whole different feel to the transaction for both your customer and yourself.

To help customers buy, avoid the hard sell attitude shown in the customer “intervention” TV commercial. While hopefully no one takes it seriously, it still shows disrespect for customers and their right to choose. Heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing involves putting your customer’s concerns first. Develop a connection. Focus on service then sales. You’ll find selling can be fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

Please make this a dialogue by commenting with your viewpoint. Do you agree or disagree?

Prospectors recognize the value in your solution

Months ago I first heard Judith & Jim, founders of the Soft Sell Marketers Association, talk about using the term “prospector” instead of “prospect.” Although I wrote last summer about heart-centered, soft sell salespeople and marketers needing to pay attention to terminology, such as using “broadcast” instead of “blast” (“Choose More Powerfully Attractive Words“), I resisted changing this phrase I’ve used for decades. Then, the other day I was listening to a Soft Sell Marketers Association teleseminar I’d downloaded. It was a session late last year called “Keywords with Rick Hubbard.”

Prospectors are already searching

Rick pointed out that Jim’s use of the term prospector gave him one word to explain a concept he’d struggled to describe for years. Instead of striving to find prospects, put your attention on attracting people who want your solution to either fix something or to fulfill some desire.

Suddenly, a light came on for me too! This is the very angle I’ve taken with my eBook and lessons on 9 Steps to Finding Prospects Who Want What You Provide. (It is currently my free bonus for signing up for my mailing list.) When you appeal to people who already want to buy the help you offer, you need far less time and effort than you do to create demand in people who don’t yet see they need it.

Use heart-centered, soft sell skills to connect with prospectors

Your heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing efforts connect with “prospectors.” Your knowledgeable questions show that you understand. Your understanding gives you the confidence and ability to ask questions in a relaxed, conversational manner so that you can get down to what they really want and need as well as what it will mean to them when they find what they are looking for. You can focus on service first, sale second. Remember too, they want to be involved in designing their solution.

If you want easier, faster, more enjoyable sales, appeal to prospectors instead of prospects. Prospectors are looking for the benefits of what you provide. Use your heart-centered, sales and marketing knowledge and skills to connect with them before trying to sell. Listen then work with them as a partner. They’ll be happier with the results. Best of all, you’ll find selling is fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

By the way, if you find the heart-centered, soft sell approach to sales and marketing interesting, I invite you to join the Soft Sell Marketers Association where we have a community of like-minded people.

Celebrations are one form of enthusiasm.

One of the strongest tools I’ve had in sales is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm sells more than any other skill that I’ve seen. The point is, as the salesperson, “If you don’t care, who else will?”

This doesn’t require you to be really outgoing and dynamic in expression. If it’s a natural part of your personality to be energetically expressive, then that’s how you authentically show your enthusiasm. But if you have a more restrained personality, don’t try to act expressively enthusiastic. People will recognize it as fake, which will undermine your credibility. Just be yourself. Show your belief and excitement about your products and services as you would normally and naturally. Subdued enthusiasm is still enthusiasm. When you speak with conviction and confidence, you will be believable.

Your Voice Tone and Energy May Tell a Different Story than Your Words

Prospective customers want to know that you believe in what you are selling them. If you speak without enthusiasm, generally you come across as being uncertain or doubtful about what you’re saying. This is especially important for that portion of the population that relies mostly on hearing for their information. They depend on more than your words as voice tone and inflection tell them much about the believability of your words.

Ideas for Finding Your Enthusiasm

That brings up the big question then: how do you get enthusiasm? That depends a lot on what motivates you personally. If you are a technical devotee, new technology will often be stimulating enough. But if you are a heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing person, knowing and understanding the benefits to your prospects will most often generate enthusiasm. Once I have success stories from customers, I speak with conviction and enthusiasm to prospects who have similar challenges and problems or desires.

Caution – Authenticity Means More than False Energy

A warning here is in order. I’ve known and listened to some really smooth and polished speakers. There’s a danger here in today’s cynical society. Increasingly people are skeptical of too much polish when they are looking for sincerity and honesty. While public speaking training is invaluable for people who are uncomfortable speaking. But if you’re comfortable chatting with strangers, instead of practicing your presentation over and over, I encourage you to develop a repertoire of stories about the benefits your customers have found from using your products and services. Speak from knowledge and from your heart.

Heart-centered, soft sell sales & marketing are about helping customers buy – when they agree it’s right for them. When you understand what they want and need, and when you can provide their solution or desired results, you will find yourself honestly enthusiastic about your products and services will do for them. Have stories about the value they have brought others like these prospects. Customers want the reassurance that you believe what you are selling them is the right solution. Enthusiasm conveys your belief and conviction. After all, if you don’t care, who else will?

Remember Your Own Buying Experiences

Think about your own personal experience as a customer. Have you ever talked with a salespeople who left you in doubt about the value of their solutions because they lacked enthusiasm?

Not all gifts come wrapped in pretty paper

Have you ever noticed how most people want to avoid conflict? Salespeople are no different. That is why it’s hard to appreciate that objections are gifts. After all, objections tend to come across as either rejections or as pending conflicts.

This is why traditional sales trainers teach you to prepare a list of all the objections you can think of that your prospects might bring up. Then develop strong counters to each one. Then, when your potential buyer raises one of the objections, you can quickly and smoothly defeat it.

See Sales as a Battle, Lose the Customer

The irony of that approach is that each victory you have over your prospect’s objections sprouts another objection. Eventually, unless you just happen to get lucky and find a prospect who wants to buy anyway, your prospect comes up with something like, “Well, let me think about it. I’m not ready to buy right now.” And so, with this effort to be polite, the meeting is over. It’s unlikely you will ever get back in to see that person or, if you are in retail, that he or she will come back looking for you to sell him again.

See with Your Heart to Find Objections as Gifts

The key to accepting objections as gifts is to take a heart-centered, soft sell approach: step outside our own personal feelings long enough to ask, “Why did this customer bring up this objection in the first place? What does she really want?” Change your viewpoint of sales calls and sales presentations from seeing them as battle where you either win or lose to exercises in developing friendships. People rarely create friendships with those who make them feel stupid or inferior. Of course, there are exceptions, like when it enables them to brag about their famous “friend” or to name drop.

When buyers bring up objections, they are willing to engage in a discussion. They’re interested to some degree or they would have found a way to leave without an objection. That’s why experienced salespeople know that if someone has no objections, unless he or she came to you specifically for what you are selling, you most likely have no sale.

When Connection with Your Prospect Is More Important than Proving You Are Right

Stop looking to beat their objections; start asking questions. The initial reasons are rarely the true issues. As people, we protect ourselves with better sounding reasons, often thinking that our real reasons sound silly or selfish. Sometimes we’re not even conscious of the real concerns ourselves. We just know that it doesn’t feel right yet. Your goal is to develop a connection before you ever start to sell. Get to understand why they feel this objection is important to them. What does it really mean? What are they truly looking for?

For instance, most people buy a drill to get a hole-maker. In reality, the hole is rarely important either. It’s what they can do with the hole that’s important. Use your heart-centered curiosity. Are they planning to mount a trophy or build a bookshelf or create a deck? Why do they want to do that? Seek to understand. Try to relate; then ask more. Thus you can help them solve their problems or fulfill their desires.

When you develop your heart-centered, soft sell sales skills, you’ll find it easier to understand how objections are gifts. They give you something you can discuss and ask questions about so you can understand. They enable you to connect, one human being to another. Once you know as fully as possible what their decisions mean to your prospects, you can help customers buy. The resulting sales will be fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

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Sometimes I wish that my inner voice was louder

The other day I wrote a blog post, “The Strangest Secret to Business Success”  in which I’d commented positively on the points that that three successful businessmen had all made about looking out for the other person’s concerns first. Yesterday I read an email from a friend who advised me that I should be careful about one of the speakers I’d named. He offered no details, but his comment was enough because in all honesty I had had a bad feeling about this man’s presentation. His hard driving approach came off to Dorothy and me as hard sell, i.e. more concerned about his sales than our needs and wants. I wish I’d listened to my feelings before I included him in the article.

Feeling Insecure I Drowned Out My Inner Voice

This is a case of allowing the opinion of others to drown out my inner voice. I could have used my wife’s reaction to his hard driving presentation to bolster my own response. Instead I was impressed by 1) his examples and points, which I still feel were correct, and 2) his testimonials by famous people, like Mark Victor Hansen and Brian Tracy. I wrote off my concerns with his presentation style to feelings of inadequacy, such as “I just must not be ready to play at that level,” instead of to “this isn’t the type of game I want to play.”

I’ve had other times in my life when I had a negative feeling about someone but allowed other people’s opinions to sway me into ignoring mine. In at least one of those times, the result was a series of negative events. Those events definitely provided life lessons.

Only You Can Decide the Value of Someone’s Advice and Example for You

My point here is that only you can determine what’s right for you at each moment in time. I will do my best to mention people I respect and feel have something of value to share. But sometimes I have to mine the gold from the rock and dross of attitudes and techniques I won’t apply to my own life and style.

Because I am so focused on heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing, I wish I’d listened to my feelings about this speaker. I’m grateful to my friend who reminded me of this. Today’s post is not an attack on anyone. This speaker earned endorsements from many people I respect. It’s an observation, though, to trust your own inner feelings about how someone does business. Rather than an issue of honesty, for me it’s a matter of hard sell versus soft sell. Choose what’s right for you.

Lots of people know this “secret” – focus on service first

Harvey Mackay on volunteering

First, it was Harvey Mackay who pointed out that his father sat him down as a young man just out of college, to tell him “that 25% of my life will be spent volunteering.” Mr. Mackay is the greatest networker I’ve ever listened to. He’s published his 6th business book, Use Your Head to Get Your Foot in the Door, and it’s already a best seller.

Stephen Pierce of MRMI demonstrated giving value before selling

Then last week, Dorothy and I invested three days with Stephen Pierce of Stephen Pierce International, Inc. and his current series of workshops, MRMI Infinite Internet Income. During these three days, he gave some incredibly valuable tips and techniques for succeeding at Internet marketing. He pulled together my three years of research and effort to show us how to apply what I know and take it further. Most importantly, he showed me how to be really practical for now. Yet he also gave us several hours on the attitudes needed to succeed. And repeatedly, Stephen Pierce pointed out that you have to give value before you get sales. Both of us were flabbergasted that during the first day of a $30 seminar, he hardly mentioned his own program. He and his sister-in-law, Lorette, gave us step-by-step ideas for how to make money on the Internet. Time and again, he gave value.

Bill Walsh of Powerteam International’s secret for getting powerful testimonials

Before the weekend was over, Stephen introduced the audience to Bill Walsh of Powerteam International, a venture capital solutions and business consulting firm, endorsed by people like Mark Victor Hansen of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. He shared with us how he got the testimonials he showed us. He created value for these successful people for free before he ever spoke about business with them.

Walsh even demonstrated with a role play in which Kari Michaelsen was his conversation partner while one of the other participants, a real estate sales woman, demonstrated a standard sales approach to a potential investor. She opened well with a good question but then didn’t follow up with further probing questions. Instead, her second questions was a typical, “If I could show you …. would you be interested?” In as much as Michaelsen was a successful real estate investor, she’s bombarded with approaches like this. The point Walsh made was that you need to put 90% of the conversation on the other person and her interest and only 10% on you when you meet. And, don’t attempt to sell here. Give value first.

So the strangest secret to business success comes down to a heart-centered, soft sell sales approach. Give service first. Provide value. Find out about the other person and her concerns. When you have shown sincere concern and developed trust, then you will find your prospect receptive to talking business. When you connect with others as people instead of wallets, you build relationships that make selling fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

Free book offer: Make Real Money on the Internet

If you would like a taste of Stephen Pierce’s excellent training, check out his free book offer (pay only shipping) for his story: Internet MultiMillionaire Shares His Online Success Strategies With You For Free in Make Real Money on the Internet. Please note that I am an affiliate of his MRMI programs so if you eventually decide to attend like we did, I will earn a commission.

Customer loyalty can be damaged by an accumulation of little irritants

If you think customers don’t care about how you treat them and your employees, think again. Yesterday, as I went on my walk, I came to the point where I normally stop for iced tea. For the maybe the sixth time in 15 years, I went to Burger King. I stopped going to Burger King because they used the concentrated iced tea instead of fresh brewed. Several months ago, I heard that the one near us now uses fresh brewed. I hadn’t tried them until today. And I changed because my favorite stop for iced tea, and sometimes breakfast, finally lost my loyalty.

As I have bought $6 to $10 per week, and I’ve been a loyal customer for a minimum of three years, that’s $312 to $520 per year or a lifetime value of at least $1,500.

Destroying a customer’s loyalty is often due to a lot of little things

So what finally broke my feeling of customer loyalty? Actually, there have been a lot of things that all added up over time. For instance, this restaurant didn’t heat the facility on cold days. As most of the time when I stopped, I used the drive through, it didn’t affect me often. However, I would watch the employees, who became friends because of how well they treated me, shiver and complain about how cold it was in there. I too hated it on the occasions I did go inside, like for breakfast, and had to bundle up in order to stand the humid cold.

I watched the franchisee blow off one manager who’d worked her heart out for them a year or so ago. I cringed at this cavalier treatment of someone who was good with her employees and who demonstrably cared about her customers.

Then recently I learned that the second manager I’d come to really like after a series of short term ones, was demoted. She got fed up shortly after that because of how the new manager treated her and left. Morale with the other employees has dropped too. It’s hard to get a willing smile out of them. Interestingly, the reason for the demotion is that the franchise requires the manager to have gone through training so the owner hired a man who has the certification.

As a small business consultant, I’m a big believer in training and certifications. So on the surface, you would expect me to agree with this policy. My problem isn’t the corporate requirement. It’s with the way the owner implemented the policy.

Take care of your bottom line best with a heart-centered view

Here was a manager who during the months when the economy had hit her store the hardest, worked seven days a week and sometimes two shifts because she was shorthanded due to having to lay off employees so as to keep the restaurant open. She also showed time and again that she cared about her customers. In other words, she was loyal, dedicated, committed. The owner, in my opinion, should have sent her to the training program. Instead he took – what appears to me to be — the cheap way out and hired someone who already has the certification.

I long ago quit saying I’d never be back somewhere because they angered me. So, yes, when it’s convenient, I’ll probably still stop there on occasion. However, now I’ll look elsewhere more often and stop here a lot less often and refer people to other locations and other choices because it’s less enjoyable to stop there. I have a bad taste in my mouth over how this franchisee treats his employees – and treats his customers.

Like soil accumulating water from many rains, my loyalty was finally undermined

So, interestingly losing my customer loyalty wasn’t quick. It came about over time through an accumulation of little decisions, little acts of being cheap and not caring about customers or employees. Now, finally, one major injustice has confirmed what I’ve long known: this isn’t a heart-centered business owner. There are so many other choices available in Covina, California that I can buy my drinks and food elsewhere without a major inconvenience. It’s a matter of breaking the habit of stopping at the former favorite.

Please comment on how you feel about whether customer loyalty is lost more often through big events or a bunch of little things adding up.

Use Your Head to Get Your Foot in the Door: Job Search Secrets No One Else Will Tell You

Decades before I heard the term “soft sell,” at a time when I was still floundering at figuring out how to sell in a way that allowed me to sell with integrity, being true to my values, I came across Harvey Mackay’s first book, How to Swim with the Sharks without Being Eaten Alive. I immediately became a fan!

I loved the image he came up with because I’d used a similar one. I choose to avoid sales organizations I call shark tanks. I do poorly in companies that believe they need to create a feeding frenzy within their sales pool. Yet I swim in the same ocean. So I chose the orca as my totem because I see orcas as having fun, being social creatures, and being fearless when they need to attack sharks.

Once I read How to Swim with the Sharks … I knew I had a mentor. I’ve read every book of his up to the newest one, which I heard about today. Again, Harvey Mackay has impressed me with his soft sell approach, this time with promoting his newest bestselling book, Use Your Head to Get Your Foot in the Door: Job Search Secrets No One Else Will Tell You.

Heart-centered book promotion video

Once you sign up for his mailing list in order to get his bonus gifts, his autoresponder takes you to a thank you page. Here Mackay speaks to you on another video. My favorite line is, “Now, the book includes a 100% money back guarantee, so you can’t go wrong. If you decide you don’t want to invest in yourself and the book, that’s okay. Just enjoy my free gifts from me to you. But when you do take action, I can tell you that this will be one of the best book investments you’ll ever make in yourself ….”

This is one of the best illustrations I’ve seen of marketing a best seller with a heart-centered, soft sell approach. Mr. Mackay confirms the email has been sent with your bonuses. Now he makes a presentation for the value of his book. The fabulous part is that he promotes the value of his book while allowing you the freedom to decide not to invest. His interest is in building a long term relationship first and the sale when it’s right for you.

If you would like to learn more about Harvey Mackay’s newest book, go to Use Your Head to Get Your Foot in the Door.

Ups, downs, and sideways movements in investing

Mark Broberg, the primary presenter, was dynamic and informative, at the same time he used every opportunity to make sure we understood the value of continued education. He stressed the fact that people who didn’t choose to continue the programs were historically unlikely to continue improving their investing skills or even to do their own investing despite attending this two day seminar. In other words, he was selling their additional investor education courses. Where Mark Broberg and the other event directors, especially Tim Walter, impressed us was that they demonstrated a soft sell approach to promoting their seminars.

Our previous experience with a hard sell real estate training company

About two to three years ago, we went to a three day real estate training seminar by a major real estate investor’s training company. The presenter and his team put us through a hard sell for three days. Participants were intimidated into meeting with their salespeople. They stressed that if we wanted to get rich we had to do everything possible to pay for additional training with them even to the extent of telling us how to apply for additional credit cards so that we could take their classes.

Investools’ different approach

In contrast, at the Investools seminar, Broberg split the audience into three groups based on available funds for investing because their investing strategies would be different: those with six figure investment and savings accounts, those from $20,000 to $100,000, and those under $20,000. Tim Walter pointed out that, as important as additional training is to successfully apply the investing techniques they’d been presenting, they did not want anyone spending grocery money for the classes nor going into debt for the courses. In fact, they didn’t even want you to spend half of your cash and investment accounts. The rule of thumb he suggested was 25% of your available funds.

The difference between hard sell and soft sell lies in your priorities. When your primary consideration is your commission and profits, you are operating from a hard sell mentality. When your primary consideration is considering your prospects’ best interests and then, when it is right for them, helping them buy, you are demonstrating a soft sell mentality. Heart-centered salespeople know that they stand a better chance of getting the sale when customers and clients trust them and their advice.

Heart-centered, soft sell sales care about the long term sales relationship

Heart-centered, soft sell seminar companies do exist – TD Ameritrade’s Wealth Magazine and Investools Investor Education proved it. As the speakers pointed out, they want the participants to succeed in their investing goals. Additional training is important to mastering advanced skills for success in any market, up, down or sideways. Nevertheless, they want us also speaking highly of their training, not that they wanted their sales so much that we get hurt paying for the next level. So yes, heart-centered, soft sell is a self-centered viewpoint, but it’s one where they look to the long term knowing when we are ready they’ll be there to help us. The other company cared mostly about their sales. TD Ameritrade’s people worked for their sales but with a heart-centered, soft sell sales approach. We look forward to many years investing with them and using their training to constantly improve.

For further information on Investools seminars, visit their site, Wealth Magazine Investor Education.

Love in sales comes through in your attention to prospects

I’ve had a dream of speaking about love in sales for a couple of years now, but frankly the topic scares me a little. I mean we’ve seen Presidents of the United States and U.S. Congressmen brought to task for love in the workplace. Most recently the golf icon, Tiger Woods felt compelled to apologize for love outside his home. So while I whole heartedly believe in the importance of love in sales, it’s not that kind of love.

The problem with English is that many words like love had radically different meanings. Latin had many words for love, but two relevant here:
• Amor for love, passion, fondness, desire or an object of love, darling – from the University of Notre Dame’s translation site.
• Caritas for dearness, high price, affection, love, and esteem from the same
The point is that amor relates to a more physical or sexual love while caritas is the root for our English word charity and so ties in to spiritual love or an unselfish love for others.

Love in sales means caring for their concerns first

So when I talk about love in sales, I mean that heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing requires a base of caring for others enough to put their interests ahead of your personal gain long enough to find out what they need and want, what their problems and desires are, what they expect the outcome to be. Provided you can help them, then you do so. This kind of love is related to the expression often associated with the Hippocratic Oath, “First, do no harm.”

Making a connection in sales or in marketing is a spiritual service

My friends, Judith & Jim, speak often about marketing as a spiritual service and selling as a spiritual service, in particular in their book, The Heart of Marketing. This again is about love and the understanding that all life is interrelated. This is the love that makes connections. This is the love that produces a sense of fulfillment through sales.

What we do to someone else will ultimately come back to us. So when you are working with prospects, once you are sure they agree that you understand what their concerns are, you can recommend a solution. Ideally, you will have the product or service they need. If not, from the viewpoint of “do no harm,” tell them where to go if you know or be honest that what you have doesn’t fit their situation this time.

Becoming a trusted adviser benefits you

The main benefit to you to forgo your immediate interests long enough to care first about your prospects, customers and clients is that you can earn the role of trusted adviser. This position leads to long term relationships that tend to be more profitable because of the added value your trusted advice provides.

So the good news is that love in sales, done right, is not that kind of love that will get you notoriety and media attention for your transgressions. On the other hand, it is that kind of love that makes connections with customers and gains you the trust allowing you to help customers buy. And, it is the kind of love that makes selling fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

If you are interested in understanding more about selling as a service, check out The Heart of Marketing: Love Your Customers and They Will Love You Back. Although I am an affiliate of Judith and Jim’s for some things, this link is not an affiliate link.

In sales focus first on understanding your customers, not on being adorable

Sales success takes proactive work, not just a great personality.

I can appreciate how someone might think that soft sell means personality. In fact, from over 30 years in sales and marketing, mostly in soft sell despite extensive hard sell training, I believe this problem is common to newbies in the field. Most people want to be liked. Unfortunately, regardless of your approach, whether traditional, hard sell or the rising in popularity heart-centered, soft sell one, sales success takes proactive work.

I’m not going to tell you that having a good personality has no impact on how easily likable you are any more than I’ll tell you that an attractive woman can’t get most men’s attention just by entering a room. In both cases, though, the initial appeal may undermine their ability to be taken seriously. In my experience, true heart-centered, soft sell sales success has little or nothing to do with having a likable personality.

But aren’t people supposed to know, like and trust you?

That may sound contrary to the Internet marketing mantra that even I espouse about wanting to help people come to know, like and trust you. The misunderstanding is due to a superficial idea about being liked. Remember that in soft sell sales, the goal is to get to know and understand your prospects’ concerns before you sell.

You need to care enough about their interests to ask questions first. It’s essential you understand their viewpoints so be thorough. Once they confirm that you really grasp what they need and want, then you can “help customers buy.”

Earn customer trust by caring and respecting them first

The idea that soft sell sales is all about personality is wrong. Don’t be misled because we say you want prospects to know, like and trust you. There are degrees to being liked. Customers trust and like people who respect them and care about them first. When they agree that your solution fixes their problem or delivers their desires – and when they are ready, they will buy. Focus on what’s in it for them. Even if you have a marginally pleasant personality, they will buy from you because you satisfied their deeper wants and needs.

If you would like to read the inspiration for this blog post, check out Judith & Jim’s “Soft Sell Marketing Misconceptions – A Dime a Dozen.”

If you’ve read any of my blog posts about heart-centered, soft sell sales, by now you should recognize that as a hard sell attitude. It’s all about control and a win-lose philosophy of sales. Nevertheless, today, I’m going to tell you something similar but from a different perspective.

Be quiet or shut up – what’s the difference?

When you ask a question, be quiet until your prospect or customer answers. So other than the fact that I chose to avoid saying, “shut up,” what’s the difference? The difference is respect.

It’s respectful to allow the other person time to think about what you asked. I know when someone asks me a question, I need to think about the answer for a few minutes. If you interrupt me while I’m thinking, obviously the question wasn’t important so I’ll pass on it. That meeting may then be over.

In this respect, you did lose, twice. You lost the opportunity to learn what my answer would have been. And you lost the opportunity to demonstrate your respect for my opinion, and therefore respect for me personally. As people usually like those who show respect for them and their opinions, you may also have lost the opportunity for a long term business relationship.

Tip to Help You Keep Quiet

Here’s a quick tip to keep your impatience in check while your prospect thinks. I personally chant to myself because it keeps me centered and inwardly quiet instead of fidgeting. You can chant almost anything, but I find the following sounds useful: HU, Om, Aum, Amen (like Ah-men), Allah, or any other spiritual or meditative sound you like.

I avoid thinking at this point about what my counter will be if his response is negative. Heart-centered, soft sell sales is about understanding your prospects’ viewpoints so you can help customers buy. You’re not there to win debate points. You’re there to provide a service that just happens to be selling products or services that will help them solve their problems or obtain their desired results. When you help them buy what’s right for them at timing that’s right for them, you both win.

So, silence shows respect after asking a question, which is invaluable. First, it shows respect for the people whom you asked by giving them time to think. In turn, it shows that you have a heart-centered concern for their opinion. Not only do you now know things you didn’t know before you asked the question, you probably moved forward as being likable and trustworthy making sales more likely. This is the way to finding sales fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

How can you apply this to your own life? Have you tried it? What were your results?

Yes, but comments lead to disagreements, not sales

Never Give a Compliment Followed by a But

Years ago I learned to never give a compliment then follow it with “but ….”  In the mind of the person receiving the compliment, the “but” cancels out everything positive you said before it. In sales and marketing, whether heart-centered, soft sell sales or hard sell, you can do the same thing, particularly when handling objections.

Learn to Separate Your Identity from Your Product or Service

For most salespeople, objections feel like an attack, like someone is saying there’s something wrong with you – even though it’s the product or service that seems to be falling short, it’s common to take them personally, to become defensive. As a result, we try a little empathy. That’s the “yes” part of our statement. We get in trouble with our person-to-person connections when we follow our statement of understanding with a ”but …” to show our prospects or customers that while they made a good point, they are still wrong.

If You React Defensively, You Lose

This is one of those times when you can win the battle but lose the war. I know, in heart-centered, soft sell sales we prefer to avoid war images. However, in this particular case, when you become defensive and fight back, you are battling your prospects. By contradicting them, you destroy the person-to-person connections because you insulted them. Customers are also likely to read a hard sell motivation of only caring about the sale, not about their situation. To cap it off, we undermine our credibility as we don’t even know at this point what they really mean or why they feel their statement is true. Ironically, even if they concede your point, they are unlikely to buy now.

Instead of Reacting, Engage Your Curiosity

So what’s the answer? Train yourself not to react. Avoid the battle. Develop your natural curiosity about what is really being said. Use heart-centered, soft sell sales by focusing on them. Start a dialogue. Ask questions to better understand, like

• “Why is that?”
• “If you share with me why this deadline is so important, I may be able to help you get what you need most.”
• “Obviously you’ve thought a lot about this. Please share with me why you feel that way.”

Respect Is Universally Powerful

Questions asked in a normal tone of voice, instead of defensively, show respect for the other people’s viewpoints. Moreover, they keep us from looking like idiots for reacting with unsubstantiated claims of superiority. Often an objection is truly a request for more information. However, before you can respond, you need to know more yourself, so ask.

“Yes, But” Destroys Connections; “Tell Me More” Strengthens Them

Using the “yes, but” approach to objections can harm your relationships, possibly destroying any future business. Not only are they insulting to the people you are contradicting, they may reveal that you only care about the sale not them. This is especially true if you make unsupported claims, like saying your product is superior without understanding the background for their comment. The safest, most heart-centered way to handle objections is to engage your curiosity and use open-ended questions to learn more. People like others who respect them, even if they disagree. As a result, you’ll build stronger connections and find sales fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

Do you agree? Please comment on your experience with “Yes, but” either as the customer or person being complimented or as the person making the statement.

The most important question you can ask in sales or in consulting is, “Why?”

There’s one question that has served me extremely well in over six years as a small business consultant. It’s the same question that heart-centered, soft sell salespeople and marketers need to ask their customers and prospective customers. The most important question is, “Why?”

Sales scripts seek to control the sales call.

I’ve had salespeople and small business owners ask me about writing a script. I have used them successfully 18 years ago when it was a required part of the job. I didn’t like them then, and I really dislike them now. Other than to memorize an opening question to get you started so you can avoid being tongue-tied, scripts are designed to control the flow of questions so as to control the prospect.

That’s a hard sell approach to sales because it only cares about one thing, getting the prospect’s money. While I did well, I only lasted a short time at the job because I began to really question whether our product did what we said it did — despite the stack of testimonial letters the company gave me from around the country.

Heart-centered salespeople seek to see their customers’ viewpoints.

Following that experience, I returned to talking with prospects. Heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing focus first on the customer’s needs and wants. While people may quickly tell you what they think they want, it’s very important to dig deeper to understand why. Nobody wants to look stupid so they will normally have an opinion based on some quick research or on what friends have told them.

Let the customer control the pace.

Their stated desires may be really good solutions so if they insist, despite your best efforts to learn more about their thinking, then go with your prospect’s wishes if you can or point them in the right direction. However, if they agree to discuss their choice with you, find out what they expect to get from that solution. Look for their real motivation — if you know a better product or service — ask if they’d be willing to consider alternatives. Provided they say yes, describe their other choices, the advantages of each based on what they want and need, then help your customers buy what will do the best job you can for them.

Examples of questions to gain insight

Here are some other questions to ask so that you don’t sound like a three year old child with constant why’s.
• “Please share with me how things will look to you when you ….”
• “What does that mean to you?”
• “How will that feel?”
• “Would you describe to me what you want this (product or service) to do for you.”
• “How important is it to you to fix this?” … “What happens if you don’t?”

I could go on and on with questions. These might not even be the best ones for a given prospect. What I hope you really get from this is that your heart-centered, soft sell goal is to be able to see through their eyes what they want to gain or avoid with this purchase. Develop a conversation, just like you would with a friend. Don’t rush to a close or even to recommend a product as the solution they need until you confirm you understand their situation and until they agree.

To have repeat sales, develop a relationship as a trusted adviser.

Heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing are about connecting with your prospects. The most important question is “Why?” Use variations like I provided above to make a conversation instead of an interrogation, but ask why until you understand what they want and feel they need and how it will benefit them. Then you become a trusted adviser, a part of their team. When you help customers buy, you’ll find sales to be fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

What are your experiences with scripts?

Have you ever sold with a script? How did that feel to you? Have you ever sold by making a connection with your customer like I just described for heart-centered, soft sell sales calls? How did that feel to you? Have you ever been sold to and controlled by the sales rep’s script? How did that feel to you?

Slater’s 50/50 logo cleverly incorporates their USP and tagline.

How would you like to launch a new restaurant and by the first weekend have a waiting line of patrons? That’s what Scott Slater did. Recently I had the pleasure of dining at a Slater’s 50/50. I was there to do a review based on a really strong recommendation. Not only did the food win Dorothy and me over, I was impressed with how successfully Scott Slater launched this business and how well it appears to be doing in only 90 days. So I wrote two additional articles for Examiner.com, an interview and an analysis of his marketing efforts, especially his social networking in “Anaheim restaurant Slater’s 50/50 uses social media to generate traffic and reviews.” In my brief discussion of why I believe his marketing is so effective, I covered the following seven areas.

1.    Ideal customer profile
2.    Unique selling proposition
3.    Traditional marketing
4.    Social networking and Internet marketing
5.    Website
6.    Blog
7.    Customer service

Begin your marketing with your appeal to your ideal customers.

In today’s article, I cover the first of the seven points, the ideal customer profile. In subsequent articles, I’ll go into more detail on each of the remaining points.

While your small business may seem to have nothing in common with a restaurant, generally good marketing is good marketing regardless of the business or industry. The main differences revolve around knowing your best customers well enough – and knowing what they want and need that you can provide better than your competitors – so that you know where to find additional people like them and how to appeal to them. You can avoid using pressure, control or manipulation when you present what your ideal prospects want.

It’s only added value if your prospects want it.

By the way, it’s rarely the product or service itself that differentiates you. It usually ends up being that “value-added” component which you bring to your relationship with your best customers. As you can blow a lot of money, time and effort chasing prospects with the wrong added value, it’s essential for your success that you know and understand what it is that your ideal customers really care about. This is the skill good heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing people excel at.

Slater’s 50/50 understands what its ideal customers want.

For instance, Slater consciously appeals to a young adult audience that likes to watch sporting events and drink beer while visiting with friends so he has a contemporary sports grill plus beer and wine bar that appeals to a more upscale crowd capable of paying for gourmet burgers and appetizers. He also appreciates they like bargains so he has a generous happy hour. For a restaurant that specializes in gourmet burgers, especially a unique burger that’s 50% ground bacon and 50% ground beef, he shows a sensativity to the fact that not everybody in a party of patrons wants beef or pork so he offers turkey and vegetarian choices.

He’s also tapped into some extra aspects of his ideal customers. They want control over their lives so he has “Burgers by Design” allowing patrons a huge number of choices. There are 8 categories of choices of which you would only select one from the first four: the basic meat or veggie burger; how rare or well done; the size; and the bread or lettuce wrap. After that things get more interesting. One of 11 cheeses is included in the price of your burger. Nevertheless, you can add others for $.50 each. Next you may choose four of the 18 selections for toppings before you need to add $.50 per addition. “Over the Top” includes 18 premium toppings at $1.00 each. And finally, your basic price covers one selection from 14 sauces. You have the option of extra sauces too.

Slater further demonstrates his understanding of those who frequent sports bars with his 57 beers, 8 of which are draft, and 11 wines available by the glass or by the bottle, for their companions who prefer wine.

Finally, he picked the right demographic for his marketing to take advantage of social networking and Internet marketing. The 20 – 30 year old crowd in particular has proven to be vocal about their opinions. I’ll discuss this more when I cover point #4.

Soft sell marketing, like Slater’s 50/50, customizes to what customers want.

By really understanding your ideal customer profile, you are able to design your product and you marketing to speak to their concerns. Scott Slater shows his understanding by investing in what they want most and not wasting money on “value-added” frills they could care less about. The reviews on different consumer commenting sites help spread the word at no cost to Slater’s 50/50. This is ideal soft sell sales and marketing because it focuses first on the customer’s interests. The sales naturally follow because Slater’s provides what they want.

Further reading about your ideal customer profile

For additional articles about your ideal customer profile, please check out my other 18 blog posts mentioning this topic, especially “The World Is Not Your Oyster When It Comes to Sales.”  Please let me know in a comment or email if you would be interested in my completing an ebook on how to figure out what your ideal customer profile is.

My privilege each Thanksgiving Day is carving the turkey.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s filled with abundance including feelings of love and family plus food including my favorite turkey and Dorothy’s favorite, pumpkin pie which she bakes. There are family recipes we enjoy year to year, like the cranberry relish Mother always made with fresh cranberries. It’s thrilling to see the next generation active in helping prepare the family meal for 20 to 21 members of our extended family.

A day to appreciate the good things in life

Most of all, I love that Thanksgiving is a day of gratitude for all of the blessings of the prior year, even those that don’t look initially like blessing. Additionally, it’s free of the anxiety of gifts, both giving and receiving.

Over 20 years ago a friend taught me the value of keeping a gratitude journal. In sales and marketing we often talk about how important attitude is to a person’s success. Customers and clients want someone who’s upbeat, positive, who sees the opportunity to help them improve their situation.

Wish I’d learned earlier the value of focusing on gratitude

I know that as well as I have done in sales, I could have succeeded to an even higher level had I recognized that commiserating with people about how bad things are or how tough we have it puts them into a defensive, protect what I already have mindset while it simultaneously dropped me out of a position of positive expectancy. It’s tough to help customers buy when we are both in a negative frame of mind. Filing your heart with gratitude for the people, experiences and opportunities in your life will boost your desire to use heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing to grow your business relationships too. 

Gratitude journal helped change my attitude

So writing in my gratitude journal has helped me to gradually change my perspective. I’m learning to reframe experiences to change from looking at the negative side of an event to seeking the seed of blessing that it contains. In the process of changing my attitude, I find more contentment, peace and joy in my life.

My year in review covers 17 major groups

I just wrote some 96 entries in my gratitude journal for today in preparation for writing this article. I’ve narrowed it down to 17 major categories.

1. Family, both mine and Dorothy’s – our parents, siblings, children, and grandchildren
2. Friends who have been especially helpful and supportive
3. People I’ve met, some only online, yet who have been supportive
4. People I’ve reconnected with
5. Clients – they’re the reason I have a business
6. People I haven’t seen this year or only briefly but still feel affection for
7. Jobs and income earned
8. Opportunities – for me this category covers the writers’ group, an interview, and a panelist for an online conference
9. Compliments and testimonials
10. Trips, vacation and outings (Fun)
11. Good books, good movies, good TV shows
12. Health and those who help me maintain it
13. Social networking sites and other free online services
14. Reference resources like Wikipedia and the Pasadena Public Library
15. Training – physical conferences and online ones
16. Spiritual guidance, church
17. Little luxuries and pleasures

Thanksgiving provides a golden opportunity to review the blessings in your life. I invite you to use my list as a start for your own. I think you’ll find giving thanks fills your heart with attractive energy. Heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing thrives on a spirit of gratitude. I invite you to share what you like best about Thanksgiving in the Comments below.

Rating customer satisfaction 1 – 5 can mislead you into false security.

Cable Internet Installation Leads to Distrust of Customer Service Metrics

After our recent switch from DSL to cable service for Internet, I feel a kinship with Charles H. Green’s comments in “Killing Trust with Measurements and Rewards,” in Trust-Based Selling. Green describes how the pharmaceutical industry has been increasing sales representatives while their effectiveness keeps dropping.

Among the problems they have is that as their sales force gets younger and younger, the expertise of their representatives declines. Doctors are seeing these representatives as “pill pushers” rather than as knowledgeable advisors and consultants. Why should they bother wasting precious time they could spend with patients to see salespeople who only care about their own metrics, i.e. how many scripts are written for their products. This is definitely a hard sell approach to sales.

Soft Sell Approach Requires Concern on Getting Right Solution for Client

Soft sell sales and marketing, on the other hand, focuses on the concerns and needs of the customer first then on getting the sale. If it’s the right solution for the client, it should flow relatively easy. But it takes patience and knowledge to advise your clients after you’ve listened to enough answers and discussion to understand their problems or desires and identified what will deliver the right results.

Back to the cable company story, it’s an example like the pharmaceutical companies stories Green tells. I’m a knowledgeable user of computer technology. I’m in sales and marketing. I lack any desire to become an expert on the technical aspects of networking computers. So we paid a token installation charge to get the cable and their cable router installed. The service stopped at this point. It wasn’t the installer’s job to ensure our network worked.

Service with a Smile Is Meaningless If It Doesn’t Work

One would think that the cable company’s dream is for us to spend money monthly for years to come on their service. More significantly, our having Internet service on cable serves to protect their primary service, cable TV as it’s unlikely we would switch to satellite for TV if we have Internet service on cable. So their revenue is greater than just the web connection.

Why Ask for a High Rating on Customer Service When You Failed to Fix Anything?

Without belaboring the point, we’ve had some horrendous problems with the installation. And the vaunted telephone support was a joke. The irony of this is that although the cable company’s employees never resolved an issue, they still wanted us to give them a 4 or 5 out of 5 for their friendly service. They miss the point. Customers want results, not just a friendly voice. If we don’t get the problem resolved satisfactorily, we’re not happy. If we gave their employees a 4 or 5, we would still tell all of our family, friends and anyone else who’ll listen what lousy service they gave. What good was this customer service metrics? We don’t trust our cable company to care one whit about us as customers.

Heart-Centered, Soft Sell Approach Wants the Product or Service to Work as Expected

A heart-centered, soft sell customer service approach – and I’ve had this sort of support consistently from Dell on several occasions – would do everything possible to make sure that we were happy with the installation, that our computers and printers all worked as they had on the DSL, before considering the call closed. And instead of a 1 – 5 rating system only, it would invite comments.

When Designing Customer Service Program, Think Like Your Customers or Clients

So when you attempt to measure your customer service effectiveness, first put yourself in the place of your customers. You build trust by demonstrating understanding of their problems and acting to solve them, not having the computer call for a customer service survey.Take the soft sell sales and marketing approach of listening and then guiding them to the right solution for their wants and needs. Make sure it works. A partial solution only serves to generate hostility towards you and your products and services. Done right, selling – and customer service – can be fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

So, please comment, do you agree or do you feel that numeric ratings are adequate measures of customer satisfaction?

Ethical decisions in sales situations demand a better standard than heads or tails

Most Ethical Situations in Sales Skirt the Law

This weekend a friend described an ethical situation at work. In Mike’s (not his real name) case, his employer is actually breaking the law. It requires courage to act in such an environment. Unfortunately, most ethical situations, in my experience, manage to skirt the law thereby making the judgment call even harder. This is particularly true in sales and marketing where people who are driven solely by the numbers, i.e. money, care only about getting the contract signed. The methods used to get the signature are unimportant to these types of business people.

Once Signed a Contract Is a Legal Document

I’ve always considered it ironic that people who will lie to get a contract signed, will then use the law to enforce that contract gotten by dishonesty. Oops, to be politically correct I probably wasn’t supposed to say anyone would lie. They’re only people who “stretch the truth.” Of course, if I get burned by their fraud, I’m going to be looking for justice regardless of how they spin what they did.

Avoid the Head-Trip — Stick with the Heart-Centered Golden Rule

Actually, salespeople who want to use heart-centered, soft sell sales techniques will be coming from a place of integrity and from an attitude that their relationships with their customers or clients are more important than the immediate sales. Nevertheless, how do you know what the right thing to do is in any given sales situation? While philosophers have all sorts of answers to that question; my preference is to go back to the Golden Rule: do onto others as you would have them do unto you. Or you could take Richard Bach’s advice in Illusions: do unto others as they would have you do unto them. The point is, go with your gut or, better yet, go with your heart.

“The Object of Life Is To Do Good”

When I decided to write on the topic of ethics today, I did some brief research. I found a quote on the International Business Ethics Institute’s website I really like. Under “Notable Quotes on Business and Ethics,” http://www.business-ethics.org/quotes.html they cited Peter Cooper, 1874: “I have always recognized that the object of business is to make money in an honorable manner. I have endeavored to remember that the object of life is to do good.” So 135 years ago, Peter Cooper stated the essence of heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing.

Doing What’s Right Pays Long Term Dividends

Doing what’s right in sales situations is not always easy mainly because we have conflicting drives within us. That’s part of being human. But when you commit yourself to doing good, then your marketing copy and your sales presentations will come from a place of doing what’s best for your customers. And the easiest way to do this is to adopt a mindset that puts you in their shoes then make your decisions from theirviewpoint. This approach leads to customers coming to know, like and trust you. That leads to finding selling fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

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People in the military take pride in giving serve to their countries

Work with Passion

There’s more to life than money alone. I know that sounds shocking from someone who trains people to sell and who considers himself a businessman. Nevertheless, for most of us, it’s true. And from my experience working with small business owners, I find that most of them have a passion for what they do. Naturally, we all want to make lots of money and be able to have the freedom and possessions it brings.

I Sell for the Love of It — When …

Still, as I was watching an Air Force commercial on TV recently, I thought about the hundreds of thousands of people serving in the U.S. Military Services – these are people who are dedicated to serving their country. Money is not their primary motivator either.

In both my experience and reading, I find that most of us work to make a living to do the things that are important to us. The rare ones among us do the work out of love for the job itself. In my case, I sell for the love of it — when I care about what I sell. I do sales training because it gives me even greater pleasure.

Despite My Love for Being an Air Force Officer, Selling Gave Me More Satisfaction

I decided in the late 1970s to get out of the U.S. Air Force. Ironically, I loved being an Air Force officer. I really wanted that military retirement too. But I saw no hope of getting into a job I would enjoy because I had put myself into a dead-end career field. So reluctantly, I left for the business world. Selling in my spare time while in the Air Force brought me more pleasure than my “day” job did.

You’ll Feel Alive and Energized Doing Work You Love

I told my children that you need to find work you love doing. Staying in a job that you hate drains your energy and sucks the life out of you. On the other hand, when you find an activity that you love, life becomes exciting. I voluntarily put in more hours learning my products and my professional skills in sales and marketing than the Air Force ever required me to put in as an instructor electronic warfare officer. While I resented any time the Air Force “took” from me, in sales and marketing, I couldn’t get enough. I even invested my own money in attending seminars and in buying books. Already while in the Air Force, I started developing sales training courses in my spare time.

It’s Fun to Help Customers Buy

I have an insatiable, curiosity so meeting prospects enables me to indulge my interests by learning from them. I’m fascinated by what’s important to them. Moreover, 9½ years in the Air Force at least hints at the fact I love being of service. I find it immensely fulfilling to provide products and services that make customers’ lives better in some way. It’s fun to help customers buy – when it is what they need and want and when the time is right for them.

Heart-Centered, Soft Sell Sales and Marketing Is Fun, Fulfilling and Mutually Rewarding

So, sell for the love of it! If you can’t find a reason to love what you are doing in sales, talk with someone to find out what’s so great about what your products and services do for your customers. If you still can’t get excited about it, find some work where you can. When you’re excited about what you do and eager to get to work, life flows so fast there’s never enough time. When you hate every minute of your job, time drags and siphons your life from you. Yes, I love traveling and dining first class, but money alone is not enough. I want the fullness of job satisfaction too. I love selling for the fun, fulfillment and mutual rewards I get from heart-centered, soft sell sales and marketing.