Ever since the advent of the computer, people have complained about being treated like numbers. I realize we are in the age of Twitter and the microwave mindset; nevertheless, in my experience, people still want to be treated like individuals. They want to count, not to be lost due to false efficiency.

Is using no greeting a false efficiency?

Is dropping the greeting a false efficiency?

I will admit that I have changed my standard greeting, especially for e-mails, to “Hi, (person’s first name).” I find it much more warm and friendly than just blurting out the message and signing off. Eliminating a quick greeting, like “Hi, Joe,” just doesn’t seem like that much efficiency to me. What did it take to type that? Two, three seconds? That means if you did 30 e-mails a day, by eliminating the greeting, you saved one minute. Was that time gained a real increase in efficiency?

If I’m doing a series of back-and-forth emails where someone sends me a message and then I respond to them, they respond back, and I respond in return until we have an email tennis match going, I can understand dropping off the greeting as being unnecessary. Think of it like an in person conversation. You would normally start with a greeting, but not use the person’s name every time you spoke.

In particular, if you are in sales and marketing, I recommend you play it safe and use a greeting. Watch for the return emails, to see what your prospect or customer prefers. Make a note of his or her preference, and use that future.

Social networking is about connecting person to person so use greetings in your emails

Despite the sudden rush to making emails little tidbits of efficiency, I think the social networking question of to greet or not to greet deserves an answer in favor of personalizing your message. In other words, unless you’re doing a lengthy exchange of email messages, take the two or three seconds necessary to greet the receiver as a person.

I invite you to check out two other recent posts on social networking: “Social Networking Tip: If you’re going to write me, write to me” and “Social Networking Tip – How to Comment on Other Sites” .

When commenting on other sites, you share insights into your views

Have you noticed how people resist change? Change involves risks. We never know when we make a change if we’re going to be better off or worse off. So what can a heart centered salesperson or marketer do to encourage prospects to change to his or her products and services? The answer is to find ways to reduce the risk. One of those ways is to use social networking to develop relationships. This social networking tip describes how to comment on other sites.

Commenting on other sites is a form of social networking as attraction marketing

With the emphasis today on attraction marketing, you need a way to draw people to your blog and website. From a business perspective, social networking offers a unique advantage of being able to display your knowledge and expertise in a non-threatening and risk-free manner. Don’t tell how much you know; instead, show people by engaging in conversations on forums, group discussions and commenting on other people’s articles or blog posts.

On the Internet and social networking sites, it’s unacceptable behavior to post an ad on other people’s walls in Facebook or similar sites. Social networking isn’t there for you to replace traditional printed magazines. On the other hand, it’s totally acceptable to put a link to an article that you have on your blog or on your website when it actually contributes additional information and insight to the topic being discussed.

To get greatest value, include a link to one of your post on this topic

The way you would do this is to engage in a conversation. Add some additional perspective, and then leave a note that says something to the effect of “If you want to read more about social networking, please read my post ‘Social Networking Tip: If you’re going to write me, write to me’ at http://tinyurl.com/334jn6z.” As well as getting you recognition for your insight, it gives you a linkback to your site. Be sure, though, to add value. What can you write to help others understand better or get a different viewpoint? Avoid hot air comments like, “nice article.”

While a lot of people will tell you to comment on blog posts and discussion boards or forums, they usually just tell you to leave your name. Some of them will even suggest putting your website name in your comment as well as in the field offered by most blogging and commenting programs for online magazines I’ve seen. What few of them, however, point out is that you should, instead of the name to your homepage, use the link to the specific page of an article that’s relevant to the discussion at hand.

Reader are more likely to visit your site if the link is to something relevant

First off, before readers are far more likely to click on and go to an article that continues the discussion they’re interested in than they are to just to go to your website. Secondly, successful Internet marketers say that the search engines rank an internal link, i.e. a link to a specific page in your site higher than a link to your homepage. So for SEO (search engine optimization) purposes, the internal link is more effective at getting you search engine rankings.

To recap this social networking tip, the way to comment on other sites is to speak about the topic. If you can’t, then find a discussion where you can add relevant comments. Whenever possible, take advantage of the discussion to share link to a specific article you’ve written on your own blog or site that adds value to the topic. I invite you to add your thoughts to this article in the comments below.

To connect using social networking, make it personal

LinkedIn and Facebook as well as most other social networking sites have marvelous tools for inviting everyone in your different mailing lists to join you on their sites. If I know you personally, especially in the non-virtual or physical world of daily living, then you can get away with an impersonal automated request – and I will probably join you because you are my friend out here.

Even then, however, taking a moment to write a little bit extra about why you want me, or everyone else in your database, to join you on this latest social networking site would be nice. For example, “I find that LinkedIn is really popular with business people and has lots of useful forum or groups that I think you might find as useful as I do” would help me to understand it’s value to me.

To connect, make it personal

If, on the other hand, we’ve never met, then I would appreciate knowing why you want to be friends. What do we have in common? Are you a writer too, an Internet marketer, in sales and marketing, in my religion, appreciate SciFi/Fantasy or just reading, love to travel, enjoy photography, are a graduate of a school I attended, met at a seminar, or you like my restaurant reviews as the Anaheim Restaurant Examiner? The choices are numerous.

In my daily life, I’m not friends with everyone I meet. I’m friendly, yes. But I rarely take the time to develop close relationships. Social networking gives me the opportunity to actually get to know more people in bits and pieces. But if creating a new friendship isn’t important enough to jot a very short note as to why you would like to be friends on Facebook or connect on LinkedIn or any of the other social networking sites, then you don’t really want my friendship. You are just trying to attract numbers. That’s all right. It’s just not what I want in a friend or a connection.

Social networking done with integrity and authenticity is a powerful tool for heart-centered, soft sell salespeople and marketers because it enables you to reveal a human side to your personality. My heart-centered social networking tip is this: if you want to write to invite me or anyone else to be part of your community, make it personal. Jot a note. Write to me, or anyone else, like you really wanted to connect with me and not just make another notch on your gun belt or tick mark on your score card.

I would love to hear your comments on this. Please post a comment specific to this article so I know it’s not spam – or on Facebook, you can flag it thumbs up or thumbs down or mark it however your favorite bookmarking site allows. And if you want to connect, here are three of my links:

• http://www.facebook.com/johnaberle
• http://www.linkedin.com/in/JohnAberle
• http://twitter.com/JohnAberle – you don’t have to request to be a friend or for a connection on Twitter. Just follow.

Just like your email inbox, spammers attack blog sites too.

How to spot spam comments

Interestingly, it’s easy. First, look at what spammers who put comments on blogs do. While some are obvious, the challenging calls about whether or not it’s spam come from the spammers who play to our egos by telling us how great we are and how much they love our posts.

Typical tactics are to say something like, “I love your post so much. I’ve bookmarked it and will be back often.” Sunday I got an email notice that I have “A new comment to approve” or throw out. The comment was “Very useful website. Hope it will continually be alive!”

Now if you got a post like this wouldn’t your feel a bit proud? Wouldn’t you be tempted to leave it up for everyone in the world to see how good you are? The problem is, comments like this are not compliments. They are clever attempts to manipulate the blogger into posting their comments so that their websites will show up on yours. By using a generic compliment they can have software automatically post the comment without ever reading the site themselves.

Why do people put up comments that are spam?

They do this for a couple reasons, such as wanting people to see their website URL and click on it. Their other intent is for the search engines to find the link back to their sites so as to give them a better placement in organic searches.

To connect through a comment, add value

If you really want to become part of the Internet community by joining a discussion, give a sincere compliment or even a sincere objection. You do this by actually adding to the specific discussion in that post or by explaining what it is you liked – and why.

When I comment, sometimes I agree. For instance, I might describe how it applied to my experience. Sometimes I expand on the other writer’s idea by taking it further or giving a slightly different viewpoint. I might even politely disagree. This isn’t the place to vent your anger or rant as you’ll lose from other readers, a lesson I had to learn when I allowed some article to punch one of my buttons.

The point of this is, avoid looking like a spammer by giving specific feedback that demonstrates you actually read the article. Add a comment to explain what you liked or didn’t like. Aim to contribute to a discussion. You’ll then be involved in the Internet community and participating in social networking. I find it fun to connect with people this way. I think you will too when you find someone you respect.

For some examples of how I apply what I’ve described here, check out my Comments on these blog posts: Judith & Jim’s “Soft Sell Marketing Misconceptions – A Dime a Dozen”

and Bob Poole’s “We All Want To Be Respected – Then We’ll Trust.”

Communicating back and forth is part of what builds a community.

The first time I heard about the concept of viral marketing was in Malcolm Gladwell’s fascinating book, The Tipping Point. He described the elements necessary for a product to take off and catch the public’s imagination like a virus. The impression I got was that while you can know what elements are necessary, you can’t guarantee that you can get the mix right when you deliberately try to make a product go viral.

The marketer’s dream is to have a product go viral.

This remains true about social networking. Some things are so well done that they capture the imagination of a few people who are influencers, and those people spread the word. If they’re respected and their followers or audience agrees, they too tell their friends. Suddenly your product or service goes viral. At least that is every marketer’s dream.

What you have to say should be entertaining or informative. Though important, video is not the key. Slater’s 50/50 is an example of a business doing well in its first months thanks to raving fans who use the Internet to tell others about their restaurant. Most of us get excited when someone has made it possible for us to have a fantastic experience. That’s what’s essential for most people to talk up your business to their community. Implied in my statement is that you need exceptional products and service. A clever new idea helps.

People love to give their opinions and are doing so eagerly.

Never before in the history of the world has it been possible for the average person to state his or her opinion and be able to reach literally millions of people with their opinion. But some very observant people have created thriving businesses on the Internet thanks to the desire of people to share their opinions and to connect with others, to create communities. In this case, the keys to Scott Slater unusually well established goes in large measure to several of those Internet companies.

Thanks to Yelp reviewers, Slater’s 50/50 develops lots of loyal fans

I asked Scott Slater yesterday what he did to get people started reviewing his restaurant on Yelp. Other than participating in the Yelp OC Bacon Elite event held in Orange County California, Slater said that people just started reviewing Slater’s 50/50. It caught on and spread like wild fire.

Four powerful social networking activities

While my other articles admire his marketing skills in general, Slater pulls ahead of others in his use of social networking to make people aware of his business. Social media enables him to break into the public’s awareness with little capital invested, a real boon thanks to the Internet.
a.    User review sites
The powerful thing about user review sites is that people voluntarily describe their personal experiences with the merchant, in this case, a restaurant. A wise business person will review the comments to see what’s working and what needs adjusting. To show you how effective these sites can be, as of Thursday, December 24, 2009, Yelp shows 152 reviews giving Slater’s an overall 4 star rating out of five possible. Urbanspoon has 157 votes with 85% liking Slater’s 50/50.
b.    Facebook
Slater’s also using a Facebook Fans Page with 621 fans (as of December 24, 2009) who get updates on promotions and specials, like his announcement today, “Need a last minute gift? Come in today, Christmas Eve, and get that special someone a Slater’s 50/50 gift certificate at 10% off!” One fan wrote me that she likes reading about these specials.
c.    Twitter
From the looks of Slater’s posts on both Twitter and his Facebook Fan Page, he has them linked so that he can efficiently post to Twitter and have it show up on Facebook. This is a smart way to maximize your time and reach friend and followers, everyone connected with you with less effort. I personally have Twitter updates also go to my LinkedIn account.
d.    Restaurant.com coupons
This is an online coupon service that several people mentioned being the reason they tried Slater’s 50/50, though many of them had first come across the restaurant at the Yelp OC Bacon Elite event.

The social networking landscape changes by the minute. No one I know can keep up with it. However, you can pick one, two or three sites to monitor and contribute to on a regular basis. While nobody can force something to go viral, you can, however, use social networking to give yourself a stronger position in the marketplace. Like Scott Slater, pay attention to your customer’s comments on sites like Yelp and UrbanSpoon.com, use Twitter to update your followers as well as link it to your Facebook account or page. Finally, if you’re a restaurant or a merchant, consider the value of putting coupons or discounted gift certificates on a site like Restaurant.com. When you help people get to know, like and trust you, selling becomes fun, fulfilling and mutually rewarding.

This is the fourth in a series of seven articles looking at how a real business combines both standard or more traditional marketing and Internet marketing with social networking to get a strong launch. Please check out my earlier posts and watch for the final two.

John Aberle at Kahler Russell Park, Covina, CA - 12/20/08

Developing New Friendships
In the process of all this learning, I have been developing some wonderful new friends – people I really admire. At the Master Trainer Camp, I made quite a few contacts with people I want to get to know better. A couple, I have already started to build a tighter relationship with. One in particular, DeBorah Beatty, has been a Godsend as she understands the technical aspects of websites and blogs so she’s given me excellent assistance when I needed a coach. To read about the highlights of the fabulous trainers’ presentations at the Master Trainer Camp, check out my website, http://www.johnaberle.com for a page on that experience.

Additionally, I’ve found mentors, gurus, and experts on Internet marketing and social networking whom I really like and respect. Some of them are already friends. Others I hope to earn the right to their friendship. One, especially, Cathy Perkins, the WordPress Wizard, has taught me so much about the technical aspects of running a blog – all at the level of a knowledgeable user, not a programmer.

Build a Community with Social Networking
I have also added dozens of friends on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Plaxo, and Home Based Business Network. I’ve shared pictures on Flickr, Facebook, and now Tweetpic. All of this is in an effort to develop a personal community.

During the last month of 2008, the idea of community has become increasingly important to me. I’ll be writing more on it because of realizations I’ve had regarding the importance of community to business. But for right now, I’m going to make it more personal.

Writers’ Group Provides Support in Improving Skills
A year and a half ago, my wife, Dorothy, found a writers’ group for me at the Glendale Barnes and Noble. Since I joined them, we have relocated to the Burbank Barnes and Noble. This group has been an incredible find. The members are amazingly talented writers who give skillful and frank feedback – while remaining kind and constructive. We genuinely care about each other and support each other. <Read the Rest of this Article>

I have four reasons for loving Thanksgiving so:
* I love turkey and in my family I usually get it only on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
* Our family gathers together to share time and food and to celebrate our blessings.
* The pressure of getting the right gifts or enough gifts is still a month off.
* Most of all, I love putting my attention on the good things, the blessings of the year. It helps me feel
upbeat.

Particularly this year when the media is filled with scary news from the financial industry and government topped by news of natural disasters affecting so many people, it may seem especially hard to be grateful. The interesting thing is that life is filled with both good and bad, always.

When I was dating Dorothy almost 20 years ago, I was fired from a job where I thought I had at least six months more to go to get results in. I learned the hard way that, for sales people, employment contracts don’t mean much if your numbers aren’t there.

Dorothy taught me about reframing my experience, which means she showed me how to change the way I looked at something. For the first time in my life, we celebrated my getting fired. As she said, this made space for me to find a better opportunity. And it did, though the new experience wasn’t always an obvious gift. One thing that came out of that event is it gave me empathy with my employees when, in future jobs, I found it necessary to let them go. Not everybody makes a good fit on your team.

So as I reflect back on an exciting and challenging year, I find I have many lessons and blessings to be grateful for.

Most of all, I am grateful for a loving family. Even though many of them are spread out around the United States, the bond of love still connects us.

I’ve come to terms with having Type 2 Diabetes. This has encouraged me to make changes in diet and activity that will result in a healthier lifestyle, like my hour walks four times a week – when I get to listen to podcasts from some really great individuals.

But the blessings go beyond family and my health to friends and business associates. In particular, I want to thank Bob Williams and his team of consultants at CMTC (Dennis Trusty, Paula Bahamón, Jon Trusty, and Ron Wilsbach) for the jobs they subcontracted to me this past year. This work has enabled me to pursue research and product development, especially on Internet marketing and social networking.

I also want to thank the CMTC clients I had the pleasure of helping with sales and marketing. Their challenges enabled me to grow and expand my knowledge as well as to define my thinking on how to train sales people to sell in a way that “Helps Customers Buy.”

I had a great learning experience and made many new friends who share a love for transformational training and coaching at the Master Trainer Camp in May. It’s not often that a business conference becomes truly life changing. As a result of what I learned there, I have made many changes including replacing my primary business name John Aberle Consulting with HelpCustomersBuy.com so to put emphasis on my approach to sales and marketing. Following the camp, DeBorah Beatty helped me refine my “elevator speech.” We also enjoyed several discussions about social networking and Internet marketing. There are so many people that I have special memories of, from speakers to participants. I don’t have room here to thank them all.

As you celebrate Thanksgiving, assuming you are American, focus on your reasons to be thankful. I think you will find that your heart opens, and you feel happier.

So, regardless of what country you live in, Happy Thanksgiving!

John