Yes, but comments lead to disagreements, not sales

Never Give a Compliment Followed by a But

Years ago I learned to never give a compliment then follow it with “but ….”  In the mind of the person receiving the compliment, the “but” cancels out everything positive you said before it. In sales and marketing, whether heart-centered, soft sell sales or hard sell, you can do the same thing, particularly when handling objections.

Learn to Separate Your Identity from Your Product or Service

For most salespeople, objections feel like an attack, like someone is saying there’s something wrong with you – even though it’s the product or service that seems to be falling short, it’s common to take them personally, to become defensive. As a result, we try a little empathy. That’s the “yes” part of our statement. We get in trouble with our person-to-person connections when we follow our statement of understanding with a ”but …” to show our prospects or customers that while they made a good point, they are still wrong.

If You React Defensively, You Lose

This is one of those times when you can win the battle but lose the war. I know, in heart-centered, soft sell sales we prefer to avoid war images. However, in this particular case, when you become defensive and fight back, you are battling your prospects. By contradicting them, you destroy the person-to-person connections because you insulted them. Customers are also likely to read a hard sell motivation of only caring about the sale, not about their situation. To cap it off, we undermine our credibility as we don’t even know at this point what they really mean or why they feel their statement is true. Ironically, even if they concede your point, they are unlikely to buy now.

Instead of Reacting, Engage Your Curiosity

So what’s the answer? Train yourself not to react. Avoid the battle. Develop your natural curiosity about what is really being said. Use heart-centered, soft sell sales by focusing on them. Start a dialogue. Ask questions to better understand, like

• “Why is that?”
• “If you share with me why this deadline is so important, I may be able to help you get what you need most.”
• “Obviously you’ve thought a lot about this. Please share with me why you feel that way.”

Respect Is Universally Powerful

Questions asked in a normal tone of voice, instead of defensively, show respect for the other people’s viewpoints. Moreover, they keep us from looking like idiots for reacting with unsubstantiated claims of superiority. Often an objection is truly a request for more information. However, before you can respond, you need to know more yourself, so ask.

“Yes, But” Destroys Connections; “Tell Me More” Strengthens Them

Using the “yes, but” approach to objections can harm your relationships, possibly destroying any future business. Not only are they insulting to the people you are contradicting, they may reveal that you only care about the sale not them. This is especially true if you make unsupported claims, like saying your product is superior without understanding the background for their comment. The safest, most heart-centered way to handle objections is to engage your curiosity and use open-ended questions to learn more. People like others who respect them, even if they disagree. As a result, you’ll build stronger connections and find sales fun, fulfilling, and mutually rewarding.

Do you agree? Please comment on your experience with “Yes, but” either as the customer or person being complimented or as the person making the statement.